just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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