the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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