I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
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I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
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