i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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