He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
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Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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