It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize