why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize