Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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