somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just google imaged poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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