This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize