So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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