I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize