also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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