I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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