So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
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if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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