to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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