it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize