Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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