I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize