Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize