there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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