Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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