It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
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What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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