Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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