woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
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But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
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You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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