I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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