a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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