Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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