3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize