Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize