Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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