I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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