So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize