Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize