K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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