Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize