Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize