My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize