The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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