Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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