Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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