you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
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I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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