Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
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