what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize