the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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