every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
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Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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