The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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