I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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