Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize