is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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